Chak a Chaka ~ Luo for ‘Just Start’

One cold night at 1 AM, I was thrown out of the place I had called home , not rented,bought . As if the pain of losing everything wasn’t enough, the final words hurled at me were: “You are the devil incarnate.” But I can guarantee you,I am not.

I walked away with no money, no home, just my riding gear, fuel in my Zontes 250V, and a storm raging inside me. Depression had been my unwanted companion for three years. I had been receiving counselling from Amani Counselling Centre and psychiatric support from Dr. Okonji at Nairobi Hospital. They say, “Don’t ride when on certain meds,” but my bike and God were my lifelines. If I lost either, I would die. Not being melodramatic , just raw, unfiltered truth.

So, I rode. All night. No destination, no plan, just me, the road, and my thoughts. When morning came, I pulled over on Peponi Road, trying to think. But my mind was blank. I fired up the engine and rode towards Lower Kabete.

At Spring Valley, the familiar sight of traffic policemen signalled a stop. One of them grabbed my keys, “Madam, weka pikipiki kando.” I froze. Then, without warning, I let out a scream inside my helmet, breaking down uncontrollably. If you have never ridden with a broken heart, are you even a rider?

The officer, sensing something was terribly wrong, held onto my bike and refused to give me back the keys. He asked me to sit by the roadside to breathe. And then he did something unexpected – he listened. I don’t know if he fully understood my pain, but when I finished speaking, he looked at me and said, “Simama. Start.”

That moment, those words , they lit a tiny spark in me. I walked into a random agent’s office, desperate and exhausted. A man named Enoch listened, really listened. And instead of turning me away, he gave me a house and time to raise the deposit and rent.The lady owner gave me a bed from her house,asked some men to help me fix it in one of the rooms, and gave me beddings and a bedsheet to hang over the window. Yes, I got back to renting..siggghh!

That was my second chance.

And here I am, in 2025 , healthy, happy, and living a life I never thought I would reclaim. It took being forged in fire to decide to change my life.

So, if you see me riding, let me be. I have fought demons. I vowed never to fight again. If you see me embracing people, fighting for unheard voices, it’s because I hit rock bottom and when I did, I found out it had a basement and I know what it means to struggle physically, mentally, emotionally, financially. I also know what it means to sew back your heart thread by thread and realize that some bits are not meant to heal perfectly.

I’ll tell this story slowly, in bits. Maybe it will encourage someone. But for now, this Tuesday morning, I ask you ,come up for air, breathe – just start. Chak a Chaka.

             ~ Kagwiria Murungi ✍️ ~

www.kagwiriamurungirides.africa